Losses

The loss of a friend or a family member through illness is always a traumatic experience. At times like these we become aware that life is very fragile and unpredictable. Our hectic lifestyle and our constant pursue of material gains and other creature comfort often blinds us to the fact that there are other more important things in life. Only when such losses happen that we are temporarily brought down to earth. Suddenly we become aware that relationships between friends and family members have often been neglected in our now very hectic and unfriendly way of life. We realize too late that we could have been closer to someone. We regret that we could have done more to show affection or we could have said something to bring a little more happiness in someone’s life. We regret not being there to help in times of need or for being away too long without contact or simply taking someone for granted. As Frank Sinatra said in his song My Way, “ Regrets, I’ve had a few “, - no one can go through life without having regrets.

Unfortunately, when the time comes for us to have regrets, it is often too late to put things right. I was with this friend of mine in April when she organized a reunion for our Class of ’62. She was undergoing chemotherapy for her illness. In spite of her ailment, and with the anxiety she must have been experiencing, she almost single handedly took on the responsibilities of the coordination, catering and making sure all who wish to attend were well informed. Little did I realize then that that was to be our last get-together. On reflection, I could have given her a few more words of encouragement. I should have told her how much I appreciated her for organizing the reunion party. I could have told her I value her friendship and that I still remember the happy childhood years we spent together in school. These are all the regrets I now have, but it is too late for me to tell her or show her that I valued her friendship. All that I have left is the hope that she knew I was a good friend.

Very often, our resolution to be more caring towards our friends and loved one cools as the pain of our loss subsides. We tend to forget quickly and return to our less caring ways. The loss of this friend has made me more aware that we are all extremely vulnerable and we are here only for a very short while. With this thought, I sincerely hope that I would be able to look at life through more compassionate eyes. I like to think that I have become a more caring and humble person than I have been before.

So to all who read this, just take a few moment off your busy schedule to reflect. Is there someone who would welcome a few words from you? Is there a friend who needs a helping hand? Is there someone who you have taken for granted for too long? A kind word, a smile, a helping hand, a simple greeting to someone you meet along the way, all these go a long way to brighten someone’s day.

We must from time to time stop and reflect and re-calibrate our lives. We must never take things for granted. Tomorrow may be too late to say the kind words we like to say to someone we care about. Time is precious and once gone will never return.