When you are old

I went to the market today for some vegetables and condiments. My regular stall was closed. A nearby stall had what I wanted so I did my purchases from an old lady manning the business. I guess she must be around 75 years old. She was a sweet little lady who advised me to buy an alternative vegetable because the one I had chosen was old and not fresh. I took her advice and made my purchase. As I was waiting for my vegetable to be weighed for payment I noticed she had tears in her eyes. I asked her if she was alright. She told me that she has a daughter who drives around Singapore in a Mercedes but would not drive her anywhere whenever she needs a ride. Wherever she goes she has to depend on her kind hearted neighbour. I guess she must have felt extremely neglected by her own flesh and blood. Her daughter apparently is quite well off and doing well in the booming economy of Singapore. The fact that this old lady has to work at a market stall so late in her life is very unusual in our traditional Chinese tight-knit extended family structure. With teary eyes she lamented that when you get old and if you have no money to leave behind, you will be neglected. I guess she meant that her daughter would probably be more attentive to her needs and comfort if when she dies there was money and asset left as inheritance. As she has none, no one cares. The sad thing about it is that when she was young she must have loved her daughter and devoted a good portion of her younger days towards caring for this daughter of hers. She would most likely have worked hard to see to her daughter’s education and her every need. Many from the younger generation would squeeze as much value and usefulness out of their parents as they possibly can. When there is nothing of value left that they can get out of their parents, they would discard their old folks to the mercy of old age.

I see this more and more in a place like Singapore where money and assets have become the ultimate measure of success. I believe this is also a very common trend in many western societies. Older folks who have devoted their lives bringing up their children are considered burdens in their old age, often discarded and neglected. Many above 70 year old here in Singapore have to work at foodcourts clearing tables and sweeping floors and maintaining toilet cleanliness. Where is the dignity in that? I believe that when one gets old one must be entitled to a few good and easy years and be allowed to live with dignity. They should have the opportunity to play with their grand children and generally take things easy. What a sad world this has become when older folks are considered as burden to society and abandoned. By the look of things this situation is going to get much worse.

I sincerely hope that I will not be in the same predicament as this dear old lady. Expect nothing, be prepared for the worst, and if you are lucky that your children do care for you in your old age, consider that a bonus.